Each relationship requires some give-and-take and a whole lot of compromise between you and your love. But what if that relationship comes with kids who may or may not see eye to eye with you on some things…or anything? That’s where my biggest lessons came from in being open minded, loving and patient not only towards my stepkids and partner, but also towards myself.
Here are a few things I learned from my stepkids:
- You can’t control what someone else likes or doesn’t like.
- You can’t change people if they don’t want to be changed (even if you swear it’s better for them and that their life will be million times better).
- You can share your values with others, and even influence them, but you can’t expect others to change their values and habits for you.
- Everybody has a unique, innate personality that you have to learn how to accept and connect with.
- Listening without judgment or expectations builds trust and relationships.
- You can live together and still have different standards, values, and expectations.
- You are not a mind-reader, assuming we know what the other person is thinking will get you both in trouble.
- Nothing said or done is intended to be hurtful, it’s just a perspective that doesn’t match yours.
- It’s possible to put egos aside for the greater good and well-being of others.
- Successful relationships and trust require a skill set that takes time, effort, and ongoing work.
- Nobody is out to get you, except maybe for the voices in your own head.
- You can’t control someone else’s reactions to what you say or do.
- People will not know your expectations unless you tell them exactly what you’re after.
- Even when people know your expectations, they will continue to slip into their own expectations guiding their life.
- At the end of the day, it’s you and the voices in your own head. Be kind to yourself and nurture your mind so your voices guide you with an open and positive mindset.
- Leadership comes from guiding others, recognizing their strengths and weaknesses, and then guiding them to ride their strengths and improve on their weaknesses
- BONUS: Regardless of how much they may test you, at the end of the day they’re still just kids that crave structure, acceptance, and unconditional love.